bros before hos

I really enjoyed reading “Bros before Hos”. I thought it was really eye opening and truly clears up some questions that I have been asking myself for a long time about why guys do the stupid things that they do.  I found myself highlighting almost every line and agreeing with a lot of the things that were written.  I did however disagree with a few ideas about what being a man is, because I felt that they were a little outdated.  

1.The rules associated with the man code are toughness, show no emotions, don’t cry, show no weakness, have the best and most expensive stuff, be successful, don’t care what people think, get to the top, and show no fear.  If you fail to do these things then you are considered to be gay, a pussy, wimp, faggot, mama’s boy, or sissy.  To be honest, I don’t think that this is really something that is true in this day in age, it might have been in the past. I know plenty of guys who partake in what could be seen as feminine things and they are totally straight and don’t feel self conscious or judged about it.  My dad is a manly guy but he also shows his emotions and is in tune with his feelings. He also listens to and cares for me and my mom to no end.  This article kind of made guys out to be rude statues, but who knows maybe they all are (except for my dad of course)! Jk.

I found it really interesting and eye-opening that the reason that men act like “manly men” that society tells them they should be, not to impress women, but it’s actually to impress other men, to be seen as a “man among men.” But I have to wonder where the hell do all of us women fit in? If men only think of men and what men think about them, then do women’s opinions and influence even mean anything?  It is really sad to think about.  If men are told that they shouldn't show emotions at all or be vulnerable or loving, what do they do if they truly want to be all of those things?  They must feel like they are trapped inside of a box of their own emotions, and that could maybe be related to violence issues.  It really is hard to keep things like your feelings bottled up for years, and maybe violence is a way of them showing their emotions in an unhealthy way.  It’s okay to cry boys! No one’s gonna laugh at you, really.  I think that women kind of get the shit end of the stick in this situation because everything that we know best, love compassion, tenderness, vulnerability, emotions, etc, but when a guy acts in the way that we do he is seem as gay, and that gay is usually meant in a derogatory way. 

Overall this article just made me confused! I love guys!  And I really hope that this is not how most guys think, because if it is they are really not aware of how awesome the world is when you don’t have to trip out about these things all the time!